Most of the people who say they love you may just be tolerating you. The rest of them probably have ulterior motives. As humans, we do things for others so that we can get things done for us. If it is one thing that the world needs now is a big dose of genuine love.

As numerous scholars have researched and discussed, the Greeks have identified four kinds of love. Those four kinds of love are an attempt to describe the different motives for love. “Eros” is the Greek word for sexual or carnal love. It is simply pleasure of the flesh. “Philio” is friendship love. The third word used for love is “storge,” which is family love. The Greeks also distinguished another kind of love, which they called “agape.” Agape is the type of love that the Greeks tried to define as divine love. Jesus also used this word to describe the love of God for humanity. This love is also possible between two people.

Scripture shows that God made love a law. Why? He made it a law because He could not trust us to do it ourselves. He stated to His disciples, “This is my commandment that you love one another…” (Jn 15:12). A command is not debatable because it is your duty. Duty is absent of feelings. In other words, we think that love has to do with feelings. However, the love that Jesus commands us to have is one that is above feelings. In other words, in the Kingdom of God, the law is that you love them first and then learn to like them. Valentine’s Day is a day when you give flowers or candy to someone that you like. Unfortunately, the intent of this type of love falls short of the motive behind the kind of love that God says to give.

Agape refers to unconditional love. Therefore, if anyone attaches conditions or reasons to why he or she loves you, then agape, unconditional love, has ceased. If someone uses the words “if,” “when,” or “because” when they say that they love you, this is not an unconditional perspective. Wherever there is a reason, there is a condition. Wherever there is a condition, there is expectation. I estimate that 99% of all the problems in relationships have to do with expectation.

For instance, consider the condition: “As a husband, I expect you to cook for me.” What happens when you both work from nine to five, and she is exhausted when you get home? Expectation guarantees disappointment. Consider another scenario. Suppose a man married a woman for her sleek curves, and she married him for his well-defined physique. What happens after ten years and three children? She cannot get her curves back, and his chest has dropped into his stomach. If the physical appearance was the reason for love, there is going to be disappointment. Disappointment leads to division, which leads to divorce. Divorce can take place in any type of relationship and not just marriage.

Therefore, we need agape love, which is love without reason or condition. I challenge you from this Valentine’s Day forward to examine your motive for loving others and destroy these conditions because reason runs the risk of destroying your relationships

Dr. Myles Munroe

Julio Diaz has a daily routine. Every night, the 31-year-old social worker ends his hour-long subway commute to the Bronx one stop early, just so he can eat at his favorite diner.

But one night last month, as Diaz stepped off the No. 6 train and onto a nearly empty platform, his evening took an unexpected turn.

He was walking toward the stairs when a teenage boy approached and pulled out a knife.

“He wants my money, so I just gave him my wallet and told him, ‘Here you go,’” Diaz says.

As the teen began to walk away, Diaz told him, “Hey, wait a minute. You forgot something. If you’re going to be robbing people for the rest of the night, you might as well take my coat to keep you warm.”

The would-be robber looked at his would-be victim, “like what’s going on here?” Diaz says. “He asked me, ‘Why are you doing this?’”

Diaz replied: “If you’re willing to risk your freedom for a few dollars, then I guess you must really need the money. I mean, all I wanted to do was get dinner and if you really want to join me … hey, you’re more than welcome.

“You know, I just felt maybe he really needs help,” Diaz says.

Diaz says he and the teen went into the diner and sat in a booth.

“The manager comes by, the dishwashers come by, the waiters come by to say hi,” Diaz says. “The kid was like, ‘You know everybody here. Do you own this place?’”

“No, I just eat here a lot,” Diaz says he told the teen. “He says, ‘But you’re even nice to the dishwasher.’”

Diaz replied, “Well, haven’t you been taught you should be nice to everybody?”

“Yea, but I didn’t think people actually behaved that way,” the teen said.

Diaz asked him what he wanted out of life. “He just had almost a sad face,” Diaz says.

The teen couldn’t answer Diaz — or he didn’t want to.

When the bill arrived, Diaz told the teen, “Look, I guess you’re going to have to pay for this bill ’cause you have my money and I can’t pay for this. So if you give me my wallet back, I’ll gladly treat you.”

The teen “didn’t even think about it” and returned the wallet, Diaz says. “I gave him $20 … I figure maybe it’ll help him. I don’t know.”

Diaz says he asked for something in return — the teen’s knife — “and he gave it to me.”

Afterward, when Diaz told his mother what happened, she said, “You’re the type of kid that if someone asked you for the time, you gave them your watch.”

“I figure, you know, if you treat people right, you can only hope that they treat you right. It’s as simple as it gets in this complicated world.”

Produced for Morning Edition by Michael Garofalo.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=89164759

Long story, but good read. Check it out!
——–
There was a boy by the name of Steve who was

attending school in Utah.
In this school Seminary classes are held during
school hours. Brother Christianson taught Seminary
at this particular school. He had an open-door policy
and would take in any student that had been thrown
out of another class as long as they would abide by his
rules. Steve had been kicked out of his sixth period
and no other teacher wanted him, so he went into
Brother Christianson’s Seminary class.

Steve was told that he could not be late, so
he arrived just seconds before the bell rang and he
would sit in the very back of the room. He would
also be the first to leave after the class was over.

One day, Brother Christianson asked Steve to stay
after class so he could talk with him. After class,
Bro. Christianson pulled Steve aside and said, “You
think you’re pretty tough, don’t you?”

Steve’s answer was, “Yeah, I do.”

Then Brother Christianson asked, “How many push-ups
can you do?”

Steve said, “I do about 200 every night.”

“200? That’s pretty good, Steve,” Brother
Christianson said. “Do you think you could do 300?”

Steve replied, “I don’t know… I’ve never done 300
at a time.”

“Do you think you could?” Again asked Brother
Christianson.

“Well, I can try,” said Steve.

“Can you do 300 in sets of 10? I need you to
do 300 in sets of ten for this to work. Can you do
it? I need you to tell me you can do it,” Brother
Christianson said. Steve said, “Well… I think I
can… yeah, I can do it.”

Brother Christianson said, “Good! I need you
to do this on Friday.”

Friday came and Steve got to class early and sat in
the front of the room. When class started, Brother
Christianson pulled out a big box of donuts.
Now these weren’t the normal kinds of donuts,
they were the extra fancy BIG kind, with cream
centers and frosting swirls. Everyone was pretty excited-it
was Friday, the last class of the day, and they were
going to get an early start on the weekend.

Bro. Christianson went to the first girl in the
first row and asked, “Cynthia, do you want a donut?”

Cynthia said, “Yes.”

Bro. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked,
“Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Cynthia
can have a donut?”

Steve said, “Sure,” and jumped down from his desk to
do a quick ten. Then Steve again sat in his desk.

Bro. Christianson put a donut on Cynthia’s desk.

Bro. Christianson then went to Joe, the next person,
and asked, “Joe do you want a donut?”

Joe said, “Yes.” Bro. Christianson asked, “Steve
would you do ten push-ups so Joe can have a donut?”
Steve did ten push-ups, Joe got a donut.

And so it went, down the first aisle, Steve did ten
pushups for every person before they got their
donut.

And down the second aisle, till Bro. Christianson
came to Scott.

Scott was captain of the football team and center of
the basketball team. He was very popular and never
lacking for female companionship. When Bro.
Christianson asked, “Scott do you want a donut?”

Scott’s reply was, “Well, can I do my own pushups?”

Bro. Christianson said, “No, Steve has to do them.”

Then Scott said, “Well, I don’t want one then.”

Bro. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked,
“Steve, would you do ten pushups so Scott can have a
donut he doesn’t want?”

Steve started to do ten pushups. Scott said, “HEY!
I said I didn’t want one!”

Bro. Christianson said, “Look, this is my classroom,
my class, my desks, and my donuts. Just leave it on
the desk if you don’t want it.” And he put a donut
on Scott’s desk.

Now by this time, Steve had begun to slow down a
little. He just stayed on the floor between sets
because it took too much effort to be getting up
and down. You could start to see a little
perspiration coming out around his brow. Bro.
Christianson started down the third row. Now the
students were beginning to get a little angry.

Bro. Christianson asked Jenny, “Jenny, do you want a
donut?”

Jenny said, “No.”

Then Bro. Christianson asked Steve, “Steve,would you
do ten pushups so Jenny can have a donut that she
doesn’t want?” Steve did ten, Jenny got a donut.

By now, the students were beginning to say “No” and
there were all these uneaten donuts on the desks.
Steve was also having to really put forth a lot of
effort to get these pushups done for each donut.

There began to be a small pool of sweat on the floor
beneath his face, his arms and brow were beginning to get
red because of the physical effort involved.

Bro. Christianson asked Robert to watch Steve to
make sure he did ten pushups in a set because he couldn’t
bear to watch all of Steve’s work for all of those
uneaten donuts. So Robert began to watch Steve
closely. Bro. Christianson started down the fourth
row.

During his class, however, some students had
wandered in and sat along the heaters along the sides of the
room. When Bro. Christianson realized this; he did
a quick count and saw 34 students in the room. He
started to worry if Steve would be able to make it.

Bro. Christianson went on to the next person and the
next and the next. Near the end of that row, Steve
was really having a rough time. He was taking a lot
more time to complete each set.

Steve asked Bro. Christianson, “Do I have to make my
nose touch on each one?”

Bro. Christianson thought for a moment, “Well,
they’re your pushups. You can do them any way that you
want.”

And Bro. Christianson went on.

A few moments later, Jason came to the room and was
about to come in when all the students yelled, “NO!
Don’t come in! Stay out!”

Jason didn’t know what was going on. Steve picked
up his head and said, “No, let him come.”

Bro. Christianson said, “You realize that if Jason
comes in you will have to do ten pushups for him.”

Steve said, “Yes, let him come in.”

Bro. Christianson said, “Okay, I’ll let you get
Jason’s out of the way right now. Jason, do you
want a donut?”

“Yes.”

“Steve, will you do ten pushups so that Jason
can have a donut?” Steve did ten pushups very slowly
and with great effort. Jason, bewildered, was
handed a donut and sat down.

Bro. Christianson finished the fourth row, then
started on those seated on the heaters. Steve’s
arms were now shaking with each pushup in a struggle to
lift himself against the force of gravity. Sweat
was dropping off of his face and, by this time, there
was not a dry eye in the room.

The very last two girls in the room were
cheerleaders and very popular. Bro. Christianson went to Linda,
the second to last, and asked, “Linda, do you want a
doughnut?

Linda said, very sadly, “No, thank you.”

Bro. Christianson asked Steve, “Steve, would you do
ten pushups so that Linda can have a donut she
doesn’t want?”

Grunting from the effort, Steve did ten very slow
pushups for Linda. Then Bro. Christianson turned to
the last girl, Susan. “Susan, do you want a donut?”

Susan, with tears flowing down her face, asked,
“Bro. Christianson , can I help him?”

Bro. Christianson, with tears of his own, said, “No,
he has to do it alone, Steve, would you do ten
pushups so Susan can have a donut?”

As Steve very slowly finished his last pushup, with
the understanding that he had accomplished all that
was required of him, having done 350 pushups, his
arms buckled beneath him and he fell to the floor.

Brother Christianson turned to the room and
said. “And so it was, that our Savior, Jesus Christ,
plead to the Father, “Into thy hands I commend my
spirit.” With the understanding that He had done
everything that was required of Him, he collapsed on
the cross and died. And like some of those in this
room, many of us leave the gift on the desk,
uneaten.

I had another blog before with a bunch of friends, but the blog kind of died. While I was reading it over again, I found some interesting posts that I posted. Some of them I don’t even remember posting, especially this one, the one that stook out to me the most. This is a story I heard in church more than a year ago:

A man came home from work late again, tired and irritated, to find his 5 year old son waiting for him at the door. “Daddy, may I ask you a question?”
“Yeah, sure, what is it?” replied the man.
“Daddy, how much money do you make an hour?
“That’s none of your business! What makes you ask such a thing?” the man said angrily.
“I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?” pleaded the little boy.
“If you must know, I make $20.00 an hour.”
“Oh,” the little boy replied, head bowed. Looking up, he said, “Daddy, may I borrow $10.00 please?”
The father was furious. “If the only reason you wanted to know how much money I make is just so you can borrow some to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you’re being so selfish. I work long, hard hours everyday and don’t have time for such childish games.”

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down and started to get even madder about the little boy’s questioning. How dare him ask such questions only to get some money.

After an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think he may have been a little hard on his son. Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $10.00, and he really didn’t ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy’s room and opened the door. “Are you asleep son?” he asked.

“No daddy, I’m awake,” replied the boy.

“I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier,” said the man. “It’s been a long day and I took my aggravation out on you. Here’s that $10.00 you asked for.”

The little boy sat straight up, beaming. “Oh, thank you daddy!” he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow, he pulled out some more crumpled up bills. The man, seeing that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, then looked up at the man.

“Why did you want more money if you already had some?” the father grumbled.
“Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do,” the little boy replied.
“Daddy, I have $20.00 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?”

—–
Earlier this year I read a book called Purpose Driven Life that also had some great wise quotes about time and love.

“Relationships, not achievements or acquisitions of things are what matters most in life.”

“When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you will never get back. Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift anyone can give someone is your time.”

“The best use of life is love. The best expression of love is time. The best time to love is now.”

UC Berkeley recently published an article on their website about serving others.  It’s pretty interesting.  From this article, there are definitely some pluses to serving, however I do believe that we should be able to serve each other regardless of what the outcome is from us.

—————-

“Nice guys finish last,” the saying goes—but not according to a recent study, which finds that serving others might be linked to personal and professional success.

The study, published in the Journal of Career Assessment, investigated the relationship between students’ motivation to help others and their career paths. Researchers Ryan D. Duffy and Trisha L. Raque-Bogdan measured how motivated 265 undergraduates were to serve others and found that students with greater motivation had more optimism about their career, greater ability to adapt to new tasks and working environments, and less indecision about their careers

What’s more, their results suggest that the motivation to serve others may actually cause career optimism, not the other way around.

Duffy and Raque-Bogdan speculate that thinking about the altruistic aspects of one’s work may help young adults become more motivated and focused as they approach their careers. “It may be that viewing one’s career, in part, as a way to make a difference in society gives students added drive to meet their future career goals,” they write.

Based on their findings, the researchers recommend that people advising young adults should encourage them to think about the “pro-social” dimension to their career choices, considering how their careers can help others in addition to themselves.

“As a primary goal for many college-level career counselors is to help students make a particular career decision,” they write, “encouraging an exploration of the pro-social components of one’s career may be a fruitful process.”

(via UC Berkeley)